Sunday, September 24, 2006

Lost

had a conversation with an old friend of mine online. she just made one major MAJOR decision in her life. which i'm sure is not easy for her to make. she has been thinking about it for a loooooong time. and she has finally decided today that she's going to do it!

she told me about her plans before.... and at that point of time.. it seems like the MOST ridiculous thing to do. but today.. she has decided that she is going to do it!

when i heard about her decision. i was...very VERY happy for her.cos i kinda felt that that was what she really wanted althought it also means that she has to sacrifice alot of other things. and i kinda... admire her for making such a brave decision.

what she said got me thingking. she told me that most people expect certain things.. but are willing to settle for other things- the path of least resistance. and until you decide that somehting is a "MUST" instead of a "IT WILL BE GOOD TO HAVE", u will likely not get it.

how true. but i admit. i am "most people". i always take the path of least resistance.

she asked me then if i have ever regretted anything. if i have ever looked back and wonder.. if only i did this and this. 2 years ago.. i would say i have no regrets. at all. but today....at this crosspoint in my life...and after much self reflection...... i actually do have some regrets. if only i did this.. if only i tried this harder... if only i had taken more control of my life....if only i was less of a chicken...hhahahaha.. sigh..

maybe it's time for me to change. time to really work for what i want. and not settling for something else. maybe maybe... "maybe my aunty has balls and is an uncle!" ahhahaha..yes that line is from the famous daphne yuan. okok.. i should say... NOW IS THE TIME!!! no more maybes..no more chicken fel....

at this point of time. like many of my friends..(like PJ) hahahaha... i also feel very lost. even though i might know what i want... there are lots of constraints that is trying to shape my decision. and it suuuuuucks.

but. i too have decided to do something.

5 comments:

vid said...

wow very insightful. more of such post in the future? ehhehehe
YES FEL, dont be a chicken.. HHAHAHAHAH u know what i mean (referring to conv with dhar) =p

fe li ci a said...

hahahaha....vid.. i knowww.. i'm actually very deep one. deep...? where's deep by the way? no news from him maaan... hahahaha...

chicken is in me la.. but i'll try i'll try.. hahahahaha

Daffy said...

oooooooooooooh. wao. you're changing?!?! COME BACK TO SINGAPORE LA.

fe li ci a said...

comingggg comingggggg.....9 more weeks. ahhaha.. i got countdown one okee....

Daffy said...

REALLY REALLY? 9 WEEKS? very goooooood =) give me a call okay? u poot head!